Love and Loss-Barbara Gibb

Welcome to Morobinbarrystories! Please join me on twitter @morobinbarry. This site is for Bee Gee fans everywhere who would like to read and share stories of hope, joy, love and inspiration for Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb. If you’d like to share a story, please email it to me at morobinbarrystories@gmail.com. Stories will be posted often, some from my collected tales and some from the new ones as they come in. Some I will save for my book (stories are placed at the end of each chapter). Hopefully, the book will be completed by year’s end. At times, I will post articles about Gibb events that I hope the fans will enjoy.

grief

August 18, 2016

So much of what we learn in life comes from observation; and although each person’s perception is different, I have observed the comments, photos and tributes to Barbara Gibb this past week and have been dramatically affected by each of them. My heart feels a bit wounded, since I have lost my own mother recently. My swirling feelings have prompted some thoughts about her and grief that will be with me for years to come.

Loss is inevitable. Knowing that fact doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, no matter how strong or stoic a person tries to be. I’m not comparing the Gibb family loss to mine, just thinking out loud about what it all means. I wonder if Barry and his family have experienced the same emotions I have experienced. I felt more sadness for my Mom before her death than after. Maybe that seems strange, but it’s the truth. Watching someone you love lose her health and vibrancy is painful.

Just like Barbara Gibb, my Mom was ill for quite some time and debilitated with no chance for recovery due to old age. After death, I didn’t feel sad. I felt many emotions: relief, peace, and remorse among them. I kept wondering and then actually spoke the words aloud to some of my family “Is there something wrong with me?” I suppose that a certain amount of guilt is a natural component of grief, and at times I ask what it would take to forgive myself for things undone or words unspoken.

I can’t empathize with Barry and Linda’s situation, since they are in the public eye, and that’s even harder to deal with, but I do know from experience (as I’m sure they do) that we have to remember and hold fast to certain ideas. Just like that failing athlete trying to rebound from a horrible injury or great loss, what matters is how one rebounds and deals with the struggle after the fall. How long does it take to get up?  What does one do when a mother’s heart stops and yours continues to beat?

Well, there’s no timeline and no such thing as closure. That’s a sobering thought but important, I think. It helps keep the time of grieving in perspective.

Barbara Gibb was like the Rose Kennedy of the pop music world. She was a rock of strength for her family. She experienced horrific losses in her life and survived. She watched her husband and several sons precede her in death, and yet she found joy and love again through the rest of her family and her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I wish I had known her, for just being around her might have given me insights and life lessons to cherish.

I send my love and sympathy and positive energies to Barry and Linda, Lesley, Yvonne and Dwina, and all the family members. Lastly, I’d like to share two tidbits about what I have learned through the loss of my Mother.

Nothing you do in the future will diminish the love you shared. No one can take away the memories and passion of a mother’s love and its impact.

Secondly, let everyone around you be a source of healing. We find comfort in unexpected places, and those moments of comfort give a promise of hope for the future.

I see the Gibb family as resilient and powerful and know this strength will help them through this challenging time. Blessings always.

 

 

 

About morobinbarrystories

Anne Jakowenko, the blog author, has been loving the Bee Gees for decades while raising her sons and teaching college students Speech Communication and English skills at her alma mater, Syracuse University, where she received her Master’s degree. She has also taught for SUNY Oswego and Barry University. Currently, Anne is teaching for the State College of Florida while she continues to collect stories for her book, My Life with the Boys.
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6 Responses to Love and Loss-Barbara Gibb

  1. Alison Wells says:

    Well said. I too , lost my mother in the last 5 weeks. There are so many emotions. I’m still feeling a bit numb, wondering too…is this normal? May all families, famous or not, grieve and heal. Condolences to you and your family Anne as well as to all of the Gibbs. May we all have wonderful memories of our Moms and know they are at peace.

  2. Jaroslava Krásenská says:

    Zajímavé a milé*

  3. Susi Faith says:

    Excellent text !! Touching !! Affective !! Full of respectfully love !! Congrats !! Blessings !!

  4. May the Angels wrap their wings around Barry and his family and help them through this sad time.

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